Hey kids

Just thought I'd toss something out here. If you want to see a little bit of what I've been up to recently, feel free to go check out my school blog.
aclinemadonnau.blogspot.com


EDIT: Actually, that blog seems to have disappeared.... So, never mind that.

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
James 1.12

When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. Don't be deceived, my dear brothers.
James 1.13-16

When difficult things are happening in your life, it really is a good thing.

Another thing: Something cannot be from God and from the enemy. If something is happening to you and has a spiritual aspect, it must be from one or the other. It cannot be from both, because God is perfect and pure and not fallen. The enemy is a fallen angel. There is nothing cool about a fallen angel. Nothing cool or pitiful. He chose to rise against our Father.

I want to warn you, my dear ones. The enemy can come against you in the image of an angel, because is a fallen one. Always check things against the Scripture. Please, my friends. Please be careful.


...look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
James 1.27b

Everybody’s doin’ it!
Everybody’s going out tonight!
All your friends are feelin’ it --
Whatever it is that makes you feel all right!
Everybody knows that anything goes,
And everything you want,
Well, it’s just across the line.
Step into the flow,
Go all the way tonight...

Don’t believe the lie!
Don’t buy in to what they sell you!
They’ll only make you cry!
I’ve been there, and I’m here to tell you --
What you’ve got is out of your soul,
Deep down you know the truth won’t hide!
Don’t believe the lie!
Don’t believe the lie!

Here comes the morning sun
Shining down on what you’ve done.
And all you feel is empty,
And you don’t know why it felt like so much fun.
Here comes that voice again,
And it’s acting like your friend,
Will it whisper in your ear,
“You fell too far this time”?

Don’t believe the lie!
Don’t buy in to what they sell you!
It’ll only make you cry!
I’ve been there, and I’m here to tell you,
What you’ve got is out of your soul,
Deep down you know the truth won’t hide!
Don’t believe the lie!
No, don’t believe the lie!

Like a thief, it will come to steal & kill & destroy!
Oh, but you don’t have to let it take your joy anymore!
You were meant for so much more than this!
You were meant for so much more than this!
I promise this! I promise this!
You were meant for SO MUCH MORE!
So don’t give in! No, don’t give in!
When you stand your ground, you won’t stand alone!

Don’t believe the lie!
Don’t buy in to what they sell you!
It’ll only make you cry!
Oh, I’ve been there, and I’m here to tell you,
What you’ve got is out of your soul,
Deep down you know the truth won’t hide!
So don’t believe the lie!
Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
No, don’t believe the lie!

You were meant for so much more than this!
You were meant for so much more than this!
I promise this! I promise this!
You were meant for SO MUCH MORE!

~”The Lie” by Matthew West (Album: Happy, 2004?)

[Thanks, A.M.]



It's not like I'm walking alone into the valley of the shadow of death
Stand beside one another, 'cause it ain't over yet
I'd be willing to bet that if we don't back down
You and I will be the ones that are holding the Crown in the end
When it's over, we can say, "Well done"
But not yet, 'cause it's only begun
So, pick up, and follow me, we're the only ones
To fight this thing, until we've won
We drive on and don't look back
It doesn't mean we can't learn from our past
All the things that we mighta done wrong
We could've been doing this all along

Everybody, with your fists raised high
Let me hear your battle cry tonight
Stand beside, or step aside
We're on the frontline

And we'll be carrying on, until the day it doesn't matter anymore
Step aside, you forgot what this is for
We fight to live, we live to fight
And tonight, you'll hear my battle cry
We live our lives on the frontlines
We're not afraid of the fast times
These days have opened up my eyes
And now, I see where the threat lies

We've got to lead the way


Frontline, Pillar(Where Do We Go From Here)



God is good no matter what the circumstance. Hallelujah, amen.



Why, why are You still here with me
Didn't You see what I've done?
In my shame I want to run and hide myself
But it's here I see the truth
I don't deserve You

[Chorus:]
But I need You to love me, and I
I won't keep my heart from You this time
And I'll stop this pretending that I can
Somehow deserve what I already have
I need You to love me

I, I have wasted so much time
Pushing You away from me
I just never saw how You could cherish me
'Cause You're a God who has all things
And still You want me

Your love makes me forget what I have been
Your love makes me see who I really am
Your love makes me forget what I have been


I Need You to Love Me, Barlow Girl


My life is weird right now. I would greatly appreciate prayer. Thank you. Much love, dear ones. May God go with you.

Knee Update

For those of you dear ones who I have not updated recently...>.<## (Sorry, Angie!) ...My knee is recovering. I had dislocated the kneecap, and they put it back and I have been going to Physical Therapy. I feel like it's mostly recovered, but I can't kneel or squat all the way. Kneeling hurts really badly, and once I get down past 90degrees squatting does too. Needless to say, this makes helping the 8 year old a little more difficult!!!

However, that whole mess means that I did/do not need surgery! Thank God!!!!!
^_^

Time lapse/stream of consciousness.

Well, it's been a while, but I don't really have too much to write about. I'm trying to find a job, I started two online college classes, and I'm working on strengthening my knee. I just realized while sitting here that the ELD is on Friday, so I'm hoping to maybe be able to dance one dance? I don't know, but we're going! Hope to see some friends. Maybe I'll just dance a waltz....that'd be lovely. Uhh...SS was nice today. I read out 2 Peter 1.1-11. It was nice. I'm reading a book right now called "Streams in this Desert" or something like that. I really appreciate it. I missed some friends during Church, but had a great time singing with the worship team. We had a nice time for Mother's Day. Made Mom steak, baked potatoes, and asparagus. It was pretty good, I think, but you'd have to ask her. We talked about Big Ticket for a little while, and decided that the Mom's of kids who are going need to have a war council to figure out travel plans. Anyway, I've gotta go do dishes and head to bed.
Good night, dear ones.
<3

Impactful song

I'm not ready yet
To say goodbye to you
So many things that I wanted to do
Like hold you close until you loved me too
And I don't understand
Just why you're letting go
I know you'd love me if you only knew
That I am not a monster growing inside of you

Now I cry
Broken inside
Now everything in my world seems wrong
Life is not a game
For boys and girls to play
And simply change the rules
When it don't turn out your way

And what gives us the right
To end a child's life
All your excuses can't remove the pain
That they feel when we decide to take their breath away
So just close your eyes
Pretend they're not alive
But all your lying can't destroy the truth
It's babies that we we murder with our rights to choose!

Now I cry
Broken inside
Now everything in my world seems wrong
Life is not a game
For boys and girls to play
And simply change the rules
When it don't turn out your way


Broken Inside, We As Human(Burning Satellites)

Interesting test thing.

1. When do you feel your best....

A) in the morning
*B) during the afternoon and early evening
C) late at night

2. You usually walk....

*A) fairly fast, with long steps
B) fairly fast, with little steps
C) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
D) less fast, head down
E) very slowly

3. When talking to people you...

A) stand with your arms folded
B) have your hands clasped
C) have one or both your hands on your hips
D) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
*E) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair

4. When relax ing, you sit with...

A) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
B) your legs crossed
C) your legs stretched out or straight
*D) one leg curled under you

5. When something really amuses you, you react with...

*A) big appreciative laugh
B) a laugh, but not a loud one
C) a quiet chuckle
D) a sheepish smile

6. When you go to a party or social gathering you...

A) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
*B) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
C) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed

7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted...

A) welcome the break
B) feel extremely irritated
*C) vary between these two extremes

8. Which of the following colors do you like most...

A) Red or orange
B) black
C) yellow or light blue
*D) green
E) dark blue or purple
F) white
G) brown or gray

9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep you are...

A) stretched out on your back
B) stretched out face down on your stomach
*C) on your side, slightly curled
D) with your head on one arm
E) with your head under the covers

10. You often dream that you are....

A) falling
B) fighting or struggling
*C) searching for something or somebody
D) flying or floating
E) you usually have dreamless sleep
F) your dreams are always pleasant

I scored a 38

31 TO 40 POINTS: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you, realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken.




I find that interesting, my friends. What do you think?

I injured my knee about two weeks ago. I was walking down the stairs and twisted it. At that point, it did not seem too severe, but I had to push it to finish up that CNA course. Since that point, it has not improved. Instead, it seems to be getting worse. At this point, it will not support my weight. I have dealt with knee pain before, and even pushed through it and just coped or dealt with it, but I have never had my knees buckle.

I've had friends ask me what they can do to help, and I finally thought of a few things.

1.) Pray.
Please pray for me, guys. I know that I've been kind of not wanting you to, but I realize that I'm just being a bit ridiculous, and that I really do need and ask for you to pray and keep praying.

2.) Please try to understand.
I know that that can be asking a lot, but I'm really begging for you to try. I don't want to be hurt, and I really don't want to burden or worry any of you. Please, though, this is probably the biggest way you can help. If I talk about hurting a lot, it's because it's at the front of my mind because I'm in pain. I'm not trying to complain, and I am extremely sorry if it comes across that way. I am trying to cope with a pain that I do not entirely understand, and it is exhausting in a way. Please, please, please just try to be compassionate when dealing with me, because I'm not entirely how I normally am, and I'm sorry for that.

¹pain

Pronunciation:

\ˈpān\

Function:

noun

Etymology:

Middle English, from Anglo-French peine, from Latin poena, from Greek poinē payment, penalty; akin to Greek tinein to pay, tinesthai to punish, Avestan kaēnā revenge, Sanskrit cayate he revenges

Date:

14th century

Definition:
localized physical suffering associated with bodily disorder (as a disease or an injury) ; also : a basic bodily sensation induced by a noxious stimulus, received by naked nerve endings, characterized by physical discomfort (as pricking, throbbing, or aching), and typically leading to evasive action b: acute mental or emotional distress or suffering
(m-w.com)

Happy Easter!!!

Blessings upon you from Christ our Lord on the day of His resurrection!

"Don't be alarmed," he said. "You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him.
-Mark 16.6


"He is not here; he has risen! Remember how he told you, while he was still with you in Galilee: 'The Son of Man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.' "
-Luke 24.6-7

Our God is a God of promises and fulfillment! He has risen!!!

Well, then.

Wow...it's been a while, hasn't it?

I finished up that course with an A. Pretty good for my first college class, eh? Lord, please let it be that way for most of my college courses, amen.

Now I've gotta figure out if I want to take classes over the summer. Not sure quite yet, but I'm thinking that one through.

I've got some weird emotional stuff going on that I'm trying to work through and figure out, hopefully God will grant me enough wisdom and maturity to make it through with a moderately clear head and the correct answer to an unspoken question.

Uhhh.....it snowed again today. Darn it. I can't wait for it all to melt!!!!!!

OH!!! I'm excited for Thursday. Pesach Seder over at Living Word. I absolutely love things like that, and I haven't had the opportunity to attend in several years, so I'm pretty much geeked. I spent a while today researching. ^_^#

Anywho...if you have any direct questions feel free to ask and I may or may not answer.

<3

Happy Birthday, Rachel!!!!

Sweet 16 is quite a milestone, yeah? Have the happiest of birthdays and I hope you love every moment of it.

May God bless this upcoming year for you, and many years to come.
...
.....
...
....
...
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...oh...and DD........XD!!!!!

An update of sorts.

I really wanted to let you know that I listen to you and love you. I read your blogs, even if I don't post, and my heart goes out to you. I listen to your struggles, what of them you will tell me, and I understand the pain that you feel. Not because I am wonderful or anything, but because God touches me with the gift of "mercies". I weep with those who weep, mourn with those who mourn, and laugh with those who laugh. I love you all incredibly much. Please, please, please...if you are struggling with something in your life, or even with me, let me know. You don't have to tell me what it is, I just want to pray for you or with you.

I love you all so very much, but nowhere near as much as our Daddy loves you.

James 1.18
He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.

I think that we often overlook this verse. And it speaks for itself.

Much love to you from our Father.

May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Romans 15.5-6

RTOTD

Random
Thought
Of
The
Day


RAIN STINKS!!!!!!

Weekend.

So, this weekend has been long and hard, but in the end it has turned out well.

Th was difficult, but we made it through.

Fri was the beginning of the "retreat" over at CPC. I was on sound, and it was kinda fun. I got to see Abbi and Joel, which was exciting. I love Abbi and Joel and I don't get to see them often, it was very nice. Worship was pretty lovely.

Sat was the major day of the "retreat" and the talent show. I enjoyed them both, and only disagreed with a concept or two. I truly liked it.

Sun was the end, and then the visitation at the funeral home. It was a difficult evening, however I think we made a small difference.

Today was the funeral. It was a lovely service, and the outside section was very cold.

I'm still not entirely sure of my emotions on the whole deal, but I have peace now.

In a totally unrelated side note: Councilor Troy from TNG is useless as all get out. "He is concealing something." "What is it?" "I don't know, Sir."

News.

Well, the little girl might be coming home from the hospital today.

I got corrected about the cure rate, it is 90%-95%.

She will be undergoing much outpatient treatment, so please continue to pray for her.

Thanks, guys.

<3

We have no reason to complain.

That's a very good way to summarize what I'm about to say.

I woke up sick this morning, stayed in bed until 1.30ish, and have been feeling generally whiny and self-pitying since then. I've been being moderately rude, and not at all Christ-like. Then I was out with my Mom, and she told me about a little girl that I know. She has leukemia.

This girl is nine, one of the sweetest girls I've met in a long time, and she has leukemia!!!

For those of you who don't know, when I was about this girl's age, my Grandmother died of leukemia. I have had slight issues with cancers of any sort since then, but leukemia really actually scares me.

Fortunately, thank God, she has the most treatable strain of the cancer. There's a 90% cure rate. She's already on chemotherapy. So now, I beg of you my friends, please pray for this little dear one.

So small......We have no reason to complain, my friends. No reason!!!

Concerns and otherwise.

I'm really nervous about this revolutionary trend of thought that I'm seeing spread around those that I know and love. This concept that unless God says "no" outright, whatever you happen to be thinking or doing is right? That makes me nervous and concerned.
I'm also incredibly concerned about one of my friends. He is making some decisions that are somewhat hazardous to his health, and I'm trying to make decisions based on promises that I have made.
Add to that concern for another friend of mine. I've been praying much for him, and I'm watching start to revert slightly, and it scares me.
Toss in some more concern for another friend, who is taking steps but still needs to be careful.

I AM SO CONCERNED AND I NEED TO PRAY MORE THAN I DO!!!!!!!!!!


Anyhoo...church was today and that was nice. I'm really enjoying going through The Screwtape Letters, by C.S. Lewis with a group of friends, peers, and respected adults. Something that we read today particularly stuck out. It encapsulates what I've been trying to say to several dear ones over the course of the last few years. Keep in mind that this is said by a demon, the said Screwtape:

"Our cause is never more in danger, than when a human, no longer desiring, but intending, to do our Enemy's will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys."

A song for my loved ones.

This world will never be
What I expected
And if I don't belong
Who would have guessed it
I will not leave alone
Everything that I own
To make you feel like it's not too late
It's never too late

Even if I say
It'll be alright
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
Now and again we try
To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it all around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late

No one will ever see
This side reflected
And if there's something wrong
Who would have guessed it
And I have left alone
Everything that I own
To make you feel like
It's not too late
It's never too late

Even if I say
It'll be alright
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
Now and again we try
To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it all around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late

The world we knew
Won't come back
The time we've lost
Can't get back
The life we had
Won't be ours again

This world will never be
What I expected
And if I don't belong

Even if I say
It'll be alright
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
Now and again we try
To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it all around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late
Maybe we'll turn it all around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late
It's never too late
It's not too late
It's never too late


Not Too Late, Three Days Grace

Quizzing!

Heyo again, all.

Thank you for praying for Oreo and myself, I have not seen any sign of other seizures. He's still not feeling too great, but he's doing better.

I'm in a fairly strange mood today, probably because I couldn't get to sleep before 5am.
^_^
Woohoo!!!!

Anyway, quizzing is a wonderful wonderful thing. Our family has been part of a Bible club called AWANA for.....years. I'm tired, so I'm not going to try and think that far back. 12, maybe? Dunno, I was the first kid from our family to be in it, though, and I was still fairly little. Well, once you reach the older levels of the club, different churches come together for a contest called Bible Quizzing. I loved quizzing, and participated in it every year that I was able to. So that would have been four years. You memorize verses and definitions from the sections you've learned in the book you're working in, and then have a competition to see who can remember the most the best.
Something like that.
Bible quizzing is one of the very few things that I ever got truly competitive about, and I was good at it, too. *sigh* I miss it sometimes.
;-;
Anyway, this is Rebekah's 4th year of quizzing, and she's hard at work training for it! The quiz is next saturday, and I'm excited for her for it! I just offered to help her practice a few hours ago, and she seemed excited about it. So...we're excited for quizzing!!!!!

Amused and stressed.

I'm fairly amused by the fact that Livie is the only other person that really posts much anymore other than myself. I'm also amused by a game that we play on my YG's forum. It's called TPBM.
The
Person
Below
Me
I find it amusing that in the beginnings of the game the lines were aimed more to find something out about the person that would answer, such as:
TPBM likes the band Casting Crowns.
Now, however, the lines are more written to portray what the writer is thinking or feeling at that particular moment in time, such as:
TPBM really really really wishes it was Wednesday.
I just find those things amusing.
^_^

In other news, a friend of mine is going to be living with us for an indefinite amount of time. That is on the verge of being exciting and stressful. I hope that we have a good time together and are able to accomplish all that needs accomplishing.

And in the most stressful news I have right now, I'm almost positive that my dog had a seizure earlier today. Corwyn used to have seizures, so I know what they look like. Now, these seizures are nowhere near as severe as the ones Tonka (A.M.'s dog) has been having, so I'm not seriously freaked out. The kids had mentioned that he had been shivering randomly the last few days, and he hasn't been looking/feeling too great, so I thought he might just be sick or something, but I saw it today. I've grown familiar with canine seizures, and that's what it looked like. I was going to put it out on the forum to ask my YG to pray for him, but then I realized that none of them would really understand. He's my dog. Only two people I know really have a strong connection with their dogs, and one of them doesn't get on the forum anymore. So...my baby is not doing great. My poor Oreo. He's my dog. I love him, and the seizures, while not severe, scare me a little. I don't like to see him having them because he looks...scared? No, that's not quite it. He looks a little confused, like he doesn't understand what's happening. I don't like to see that happening to him. So I just stay by him, and comfort him, and pray that he doesn't have any more.

YG 1/22/09

Last night was a...sort of mixed night at youth group. I'm going to focus in on one particular thing and comment on some of the others.

It was an interesting night to try and lead worship. It's hard to figure out what to do when people are behaving in entirely different ways. I mean, if people are really happy and bouncy, and you sing a really slow and mournful sounding song, it throws people off. If people are feeling morose and you play a song like "Awesome God", it throws people off. It's kind of an interesting balance to walk, trying to urge people in the way God is leading and not throw them completely off track with a weird song choice.

Anyway, about half of the YG was either looking or feeling morose/out of it/depressed/or otherwise distraught/distracted, and the other half was feeling a wonderful sense of worship and joy. I mean, come on! Walking that line is hard enough, and then we get this and I was almost thrown off and into a sort of panic. It was weeeeeird.....

So this is all leading up to the one thing that I mentioned. As we were worshipping, one of the young men cried out to God that he was absolutely broken and had nothing left. He begged that God would take him broken and as nothing. Then God revealed His love for every person there to another of our young men. He was filled with this sense of God's love and it filled him with a joy that I hadn't seen from him before. I can't explain to you what he felt, because it was his experience with God.

That was truly awesome to me, because the young man who was feeling God's love is a very dear friend of mine, and I've been praying for him to be touched by this for a long time.

^_^

Happy.

The Tale of the Dragon's Defeat

Anyone who read the previous post might remember that I mentioned something about the Dragon's Defeat. Well, I thought I might as well just post the lyric to the song. So...here you are!


A letter with no address
Burning a hole with words
Writ’ in frantic distress
Storming my way through night
Gaze set on the light
Worry gripping my chest
Oh, God, no not my love!
She’s no match for his tricks
The games he plays
Stay with me as I ride

Your words may have swayed her before
But I’ll fight to help her ignore
Every word that you say
That masks your intent to betray

In this letter I hold from true beauty untold
Sealed and coated with fear
Love, he’s here for my soul, come You’re my only Hope
I will save you, my dear
Oh, Father, my task I may dread
But as ransom, take me instead

Take heart now, my Son
Fear not for the dragon will not overcome

Your words may have swayed her before
But I’ll fight to help her ignore
Every word that you say
That masks your intent to betray

Your words may have swayed her before
But I’ll fight to help her ignore
Every word that you say
That masks your intent to betray

Your words may have swayed her before
But I died so she could have more
The Life that she now finds in Me
Is the tale of the dragon’s defeat


Tale of the Dragon's Defeat, Wavorly(Conquering the Fear of Flight)

*head explodes*

Aahhhh!!! Too much creativity all at once!!!!!! God keeps popping these things into my head and they won't leave me alone.....
;-;
Actually, it's not that bad, it just means that I'm a little distracted most of the time.
^_^###
Not that that's particularly unusual, or even really noticed. The main thing that gets noticed is when I'm working on choreographing something, and one of my parents walks into the room....
(. .)
#-#
That has been embarrassing....

Now, I have about three things popping around that won't leave me alone, and then several others that have just flit in and out.

#1) The Everything Skit.
This one is already under way. If I had a chance to start doing it again, I would have started working on it earlier, and had more choreography done before going into it. I got an opportunity to talk to a friend about it, and he gave some wonderful insight into the whole thing. I was incredibly thankful for him and the light that God shed through him onto TES. Now I can't wait to see what my wonderful Heavenly Father is going to do through this offering that we bring to Him.

#2) Photography.
Weird, eh? I have images in my head that I want to capture. I was listening to Fireflight the other day while I was washing my hair, and these songs came on and all of these pictures starting coming into my head. Now, this happens fairly often, but these were different. Normally, the pictures in my head are animated and not particularly executable, but these were people that I know in ways that we could do. I'm truly excited to try and do stuff with these ideas.

#3) The Suite of the Dragon's Defeat
This one smacked me in the face while I was doing the dishes yesterday. I don't know if any of you listen to the band Wavorly, but I know that I played a piece or two of their music at the girl's part of my birthday. Well, one of the pieces that I played became addictive to me as soon as I heard it. Little did I know then that God was piecing things together in my head. As I was washing the dishes, God started showing me the dance in bits and pieces. The main song is The Tale of the Dragon's Defeat, in which Jesus recieves a letter from His love, the Bride of Christ. She is being beguiled by the Dragon, who is the Devil. The rest of the song is, well, the tale of the Dragon's defeat. Well.....now there's a dance to it, and I know the two who are supposed to do it with me, and we might incorporate another. First, though, I have to finish TES and the school I'm finishing up.


So...I'm really distracted. It makes working on my school difficult, which is something I can't afford right now. I know that God is working through it, though. I just have to trust Him.
^_^

Misery Loves Company

I’ve done so much wrong
It outweighs the good.
I’ve found the hardest things to do are the ones I should.
But you gave me all the grace
I needed to get out.
And I will not forget it, Lord
I will walk it out.

The Demon on my shoulder says,
"You will pay for this.
Did you think you could escape all the consequences?"
But, no, it's not in me
It’s in Your grace that I’m set free.

I feel sick
It’s something I can’t shake.
And night after night it’s keeping me awake.
Am I sorry that I hurt You
Or that judgment finally came?
I will not pass it off on You
'Cuz I’m the one to blame.

The Demon on my shoulder says,
"You will pay for this.
Did you think you could escape all the consequences?"
But it is not in me
It’s in Your grace that I’m set free.

I know there’s someway you can turn this around.
Don’t give up on me yet
I’m not yet in the ground!
You've given me one more chance, a million times before.
But I still hear another one
Knocking at my door!

The Demon on my shoulder says,
"You will pay for this.
Did you think you could escape all the consequences?"
But it is not in me
It’s in Your grace that I’m set free.

The Demon on my shoulder says,
"You will pay for this.
Did you think you could escape all the consequences?"
But it is not in me
It’s in Your grace that I’m set free!


Misery Loves Company, The Wedding(Polarity)




Yes, I think that now we all realize that I am obsessed with music. I've been thinking in music and song clips for the last day and a half now.

Anyway, this song pretty much explains itself. I'm going to have to figure out how to create the pictures that are in my head from it. Beware, my dear photography subjects! I have lots of ideas now to work out!!!

^_^


<3>

Life update spill!

My life has been fairly busy this last week, but it has been mostly fun.

Last Saturday was Women's Vocal Arts Day (WVAD) over at UofM. I went with a few girls that I know, and one in particular that is a friend. We learned some pretty cool pieces of music, most of which still pop into my head at the randomest of times.

Sunday was church, which we were (once again) late for. The sermon was lovely, though. We have a messianic Jew giving the sermons last week and this week, and they are truly interesting for the first time in a while. After the service, Sunday School started back up. I'm not helping to lead a class this time around, which is actually kind of nice. I'm in the class that's reading the Screwtape Letters. If you have not read that book, I highly suggest it. Then, we went out to WL for Brie's b-day party. All in all, a very nice day.

Monday we went sledding with part of the YG over at RH. Personally, I don't really enjoy sledding, but it was a nice time anyway. I got out my snowboard for the second time and worked at it for a little while. Had to sit it down several times, one of which was fairly spectacular.

Tuesday we went out and visited Grandpa, as per usual. It was a nice time, actually. We went to McED's (as normal), let the kids play (as normal), and then we all played a few rounds of go fish.

Wednesday was...interesting. It was, shall we say, not the high point of my week. We went to the chiropractor (not bad, really.) I had 4 x-rays taken of my spine, since it was my first time there since I turned 18. Then we went to the dentist. I, as mentioned before, really don't like the dentist. I had 7 x-rays taken of my mouth, and as it turns out, I have a cavity between two teeth on the lower right side of my mouth. I'm going in on Monday to have it filled. (woohoo....?) Having never had a cavity before, I'm slightly anxious as to what is going to happen.

I started off Thursday working on an essay about Dr Benjamin Franklin's 13 points of living. It ended up being a rather free-form little paper, and was somewhat refreshing. Then I went to YG, had a meeting for The Everything Skit (TES), and then went and spent the night at a friend's house. The ride there was fairly amusing. I'd only ridden in the B. Bus once before, and I was dehydrated to the point that I'd nearly passed out and was barely aware when I was riding back. That was fun, though. Got to talk to Isaac about some driving test stuff and other stuff.

*laughs* The end of Thursday and the beginning of Friday blur together a bit, so I'll give it its own little blurb.

I spent the night at the M.'s house, and it was a truly hilarious night. We watched TFotR, and ended up in many tickle and pillow fights. My sides and feet are absolutely traumatized right now. Anyway, Alysha and Beth and I stayed up until about 4, and then crashed. We watched TTT Friday, and started TRotK before we started getting ready to go.

Friday night was the English Line Dance(ELD)! Everyone that came had a lovely time, it seemed. My most vivid memory of the night was the Dublin whatsiwhoozit that nobody could get entirely right, and then getting to waltz with Mike. I absolutely adore the waltz. I don't get to dance it very often at all, and getting to dance it with Mike made it especially fun, because he's a good friend and because he's really good at it. It was lovely. Then Rebekah and I went out to Big Boy's with the H.'s, and then we came home. I posted a whole bunch of songs on the forum, talked with some people via the forum and email, and then went to bed.


Now, my dear ones, I have to go write a biographical essay about Marquis de Lafayette. Love you all! kthxbye!

Riot

If you feel so empty
So used up
So let down
If you feel so angry
So ripped off
So stepped on
You're not the only one
Refusing to back down
You're not the only one
So get up

Let's start a riot
A riot
Let's start a riot
Let's start a riot
A riot
Let's start a riot

If you feel so filthy
So dirty
So screwed up
If you feel so walked on
So painful
So pissed off
You're not the only one
Refusing to go down
You're not the only one
So get up

Let's start a riot
A riot
Let's start a riot
Let's start a riot
A riot
Let's start a riot

If you feel so empty
So used up
So let down
If you feel so angry
Just get up

[spoken] Let's start a riot
Riot
Let's start a riot.

Let's start a riot
A riot
Let's start a riot
Let's start a riot
A riot
Let's start a riot

Let's start a riot
A riot
Let's start a riot
Let's start a riot
A riot
Let's start a riot

Riot, Three Days Grace



This song has been running through my head the last several days. To me, it says don't just let it get you down and that you're not the only one who feels the way you feel. It says fight back. Fight against it.

Let me make it perfectly clear that I do not want to start an honest to goodness riot. I do not even condone the idea of a riot. I simply want you to fight back against what's getting you down.

The Everything Skit

So the most recent project I've come up with is the Everything Skit. Most of you who read this have either:
a) heard of the skit
b) seen the skit in either video or live form
c) will see be in it soon
d) will see it soon
or e) will see a video of it eventually (maybe the one that i take when we do it!)

What has happened to me is that I saw it in a godtube link, and then heard about it later, and then saw it again in another link. God seems to speak to me in threes. What finally tore it was when Aunt Lois was telling me about it this summer. I spent a good chunk of the rest of the vacation planning it out with Rachel and Beth.

Now, I am finally pulling together the planning details. Tonight I've been working on contacting my cast (most of you know who you are!) to line up a date to actually do the skit. I'm truly hoping to do it on the 22nd of February. It's the closest Sunday to a date that is...well...very important to me. A few of you know why, but we aren't going to get into it here. If you guys manage to see this before I get a hold of you otherwise, please contact me.

I spent the rest of the evening watching different renditions of the skit itself. I watched the one that I first saw that got me hooked, and then I started exploring. Eventually what I found was a version of the skit that was put on in an LA night club. It was more real to me, and I really love it. There's one part of it that I won't show to my dear ones because it gets fairly graphic, but that's where our originality is going to (hopefully!) come into play. I'm positive that it will work out wonderfully, because I know that God wants us to do this.

I've been thinking about how to blend my two favorite versions of the skit into one cohesive, poignant, and somehow original piece. Actually, I don't really care if it's original, all that matters to me is that it touches people's lives. Anyway, I'm trying to blend the more conceptual version with the more real one. Could be fun, eh?

My hope is that I can work with my three dear ones that have to do the most actual work this Thursday.
^_^#
[Wow...that sounded kind of bad. Let me try again.]
My hope is that I can work with my three dear ones that have to do the most dancing this Thursday. [And to continue with my train of thought!] That way we can work out some of the kinks and then integrate the rest of the cast. God, the girl, and romance have their work cut out for them....poor dancers. And (ha!) the rendition I found that I like has even more dance in it!!!!
XD
HAhahahahha!!! I find it incredibly amusing that I have absolutely no talent as a dancer, and yet I'm going to choreograph this thing! Heeheeheeheeheeeee!!!!! [*looking back at this* Wow...maybe I should go to bed.....] Actually, I really enjoy choreography. It's really fun to work with dancers. I just hope that mine let's me use a few of my ideas!
^_^

On another note: I have to go to the dentist tomorrow!!!!
DX
(this one is backwards, but he's really upset)
I don't like the dentist......*sigh*.......Oh, well. I deal with it. There's nothing new that they really tell me at all. Just to brush and floss more often. *bashful smile* Yeah. I don't like the dentist.....
-_-,

On an even other note: If you could all pray for me, it would be lovely. I've been having trouble sleeping again. And Angie, the sleep in a bottle works!!! I used it last night and it helped! If you all could pray that I figure out what helps me sleep, I would truly appreciate it.



Anyhoo....that's all I've got. My bed is beginning to call...earlier than usual!!!!
^_^
<3
Much love, my dear ones. May God bless you and go with you in every step of your days. In fact, I know that He goes with you. Hallelujah, amen.

Happy birthday, Mrs H! I hope you're having a great time!

<3

Back.

Well, I suppose I'd better update those of you who read this thing. Sorry I haven't gotten on in the last few days, I've been just a wee touch preoccupied.

#1) I had a sleepover Friday night with my girlfriends and only got 4 hrs of sleep (5am-9am)
#2) One of the girls (my little sister without blood relations) at my sleepover got sick and had to go home around 10pm.
#3) Had an absolutely amazing day of pretending on Saturday (like LARPing, but without the fancy name). Ran from 10am-10pm all told.
#4) Got a call at about 9.45pm that the girl who had gotten sick on Friday night was going into the ER, and could we take her two sisters (uh...of course!!!)
#5) Couldn't sleep...was too worried.
#6) Became the "Spider Queen"(receiving and sending out information) for the family of the girl in the ER.
#7) Found out that she had appendicitis and was going to have to have her appendix removed.
#8) Had church(10am-11am...yeah, we were late and we left early)/went bowling(11.30-2)/prayed for the my little non-blood sis as she went into surgery/had a family birthday party(2-i can't remember when...sometime around 5? 6?)
#9) Took little non-blood sis's sisters to their family at the hospital and visited for about half an hour-40 minutes.
#10) Couldn't sleep again, was still too worried
#11) Went in to visit at the hospital at about 10am (oh, it's Monday now)
#12) Came home at about 3? (still monday)
#13) Crashed downstairs doing pretty much nothing for a few hours
#14) Went out to dinner with my family (it was my actual birthday)
#15) Came home, watched tv, turned 18, and went to bed. (I actually slept!!!)
#16) Got up at 2.54pm.


Yep....that's been my weekend. It was fun in a lot of ways, but crazy in a million others....and.......I'm 18 now. Weeeeeiird.......^_^###