The Migraine Diaries

So... I'm going to write about something a little different here right now.
I'm going to write this as an explanation, but also hopefully as an encouragement.
I have been having migraines since I was twelve years old. I am now 21.
I want to start by saying that migraines are not simply headaches.
They were fairly debilitating when I was younger. I would just lay in bed, and it was difficult to try and do school (fortunately, I was homeschooled so I was able to do my homework in bed most of the time).
I have had, and do have, the typical migraine symptoms: sensitivity to light, sensitivity to sound, and nausea.
As I got older, the migraines got weirder. They started lasting longer, and having worse symptoms.
In the last year, I have had migraines that have caused me to have visual and auditory hallucinations. Such as hearing voices calling me from the emergency exit of a lecture hall, seeing cockroaches crawling everywhere around me, and seeing pills laying around my home. Suffice it to say that none of these things were real.
Without my preventative medication, I have chronic migraine.
I have aura. Which means that there are odd halos around things, and occasionally odd lights or shapes floating in the air. Sometimes, it means that I see things in weird colors. I have once seen half the world in blue and half the world in orange. Just the other day, one of my eyes saw the world separately and in red and blue. The other eye was unaffected. The only way I could explain what I felt was that my vision had dissociated.
My migraines have clouded my thinking, making it hard for me to think and to do homework.
I have found out rare symptoms of migraines that I thought were just how life worked.
I have been afraid that I was schizophrenic, but now can see that those symptoms were rare migraine symptoms.
I have felt insane.
I have had doctors ignore my explanations of my "weird migraines", and all of the symptoms that aren't "normal" and write my migraines off as "common migraine".
I have had several health issues that could not be diagnosed by doctors. Now, looking back, those could have all been very complicated migraines.
I am currently on day 6 of a migraine. The reason I am able to type this is because I just got a new prescription for a pain medication that could become addictive.
I will fight against that with everything I have.
The reason I have this medication is because the doctors were "out" of the injections that have managed to stop my long migraines previously.
I am not angry at my doctor. I like her.
I am discouraged.
...
...
... but I have hope.
I want to share my hope with other people with "complicated" or chronic migraine.
You are not insane.
You are not alone.


And I am here to talk with you if you want.

To my friends who have known me for a long time: Thank you for supporting me. Please continue to pray for me as I try to navigate this new stage of medical difficulties. Thank you again.
*chu*