11.03.2011
11.02.2011
10.22.2011
Inquiry
Has anyone ever noticed that those philosophical crises pop up at the most inconvenient times? The question "who am I?" could not come at a worse time than this weekend. I am swamped! Part of me wants to morph into this new person, while part wants to get back to my roots, while the other says, "What on earth are you doing??? You have two tests and three projects due this week! What's wrong with you?!" Anyway... please think of me in my morass of schoolwork. *chuckle* Also, my vocabulary seems to be becoming something that my coworkers and some of my school peers simply cannot understand. Seriously, who uses "quandary" in everyday conversation! *laugh* I am insane. I love you all. (And by all, I mean Angie, who seems to be my only reader. Angie, you are a wonderful person. I love you dearly.)
10.14.2011
Today's musings
It's only one musing, really. Does it take a special kind of man to love a woman who lives in jeans and t-shirts?
Also... when did I become a woman? I'm not a little girl anymore, that's for sure. It's odd, though.
9.08.2011
Confession #8
Sometimes, I really just don't know what to think or feel. God is always good. That's all that is certain forever and always.
8.09.2011
7.24.2011
weird thing....^_^#
YOUR BOY SIDE—-
[x] You love hoodies.
[x] You love jeans.
[x] Dogs are better than cats.
[] hilarious when people get hurt.
[/] Shopping is torture (sometimes)
[] Sad movies suck.
[] You own a car racing game.
[] You played with Hot Wheels cars as a kid.
[x] At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
[] You owned a DS, PS2, N64,or Sega.
[] You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
[x] You have watched sports on TV
[/] Gory movies are cool. (sometimes)
[x] You go to your dad for advice. (about guys, and other things)
[] You own like a trillion baseball caps.
[] You used to collect hockey cards.
[x] Baggy sweats are cool to wear.
[] It’s kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
[x] Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
[x] You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
[/] Sports are fun
[-] You talk with food in your mouth. (rarely)
[-] You sleep with your socks on at night.
[x] You have fished at least once
—-YOUR GIRL SIDE—-
[] You love to shop.
[x] You wear eyeliner
[/] You wear the color pink.
[X] You go to your mom to talk. (often)
[] You consider cheerleading a sport.
[] You hate wearing the color black.
[-] You like going to the mall.
[x] You like getting manicures and/or pedicures
[x] You like wearing jewelry.
[] You cried watching The Notebook.
[] Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
[] Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
[] You don’t like the movie Star Wars
[] You are/were in gymnastics
[x] It takes you around one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up
[x] You smile a lot more than you should.
[?] You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
[/] You care about what you look like.
[/] You like wearing dresses when you can.
[/] You like wearing high heel shoes.
[x] You used to play with dolls as a little girl.
[/] You like being the star of everything.
[] Pink is one of your favorite colors.
[x] You love hoodies.
[x] You love jeans.
[x] Dogs are better than cats.
[] hilarious when people get hurt.
[/] Shopping is torture (sometimes)
[] Sad movies suck.
[] You own a car racing game.
[] You played with Hot Wheels cars as a kid.
[x] At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
[] You owned a DS, PS2, N64,or Sega.
[] You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
[x] You have watched sports on TV
[/] Gory movies are cool. (sometimes)
[x] You go to your dad for advice. (about guys, and other things)
[] You own like a trillion baseball caps.
[] You used to collect hockey cards.
[x] Baggy sweats are cool to wear.
[] It’s kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
[x] Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
[x] You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
[/] Sports are fun
[-] You talk with food in your mouth. (rarely)
[-] You sleep with your socks on at night.
[x] You have fished at least once
—-YOUR GIRL SIDE—-
[] You love to shop.
[x] You wear eyeliner
[/] You wear the color pink.
[X] You go to your mom to talk. (often)
[] You consider cheerleading a sport.
[] You hate wearing the color black.
[-] You like going to the mall.
[x] You like getting manicures and/or pedicures
[x] You like wearing jewelry.
[] You cried watching The Notebook.
[] Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
[] Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
[] You don’t like the movie Star Wars
[] You are/were in gymnastics
[x] It takes you around one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up
[x] You smile a lot more than you should.
[?] You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
[/] You care about what you look like.
[/] You like wearing dresses when you can.
[/] You like wearing high heel shoes.
[x] You used to play with dolls as a little girl.
[/] You like being the star of everything.
[] Pink is one of your favorite colors.
•Appearance •
[] I am shorter than 5′5″.
[x] I have many scars.
[x] I tan/ burn easily.
[/] I wish my hair was a different colour.
[] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[] I have a tattoo.
[] I’ve had/have braces.
[x] I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger.
[] I have more than two piercings.
[] I have / had piercings in places besides my ears.
• Embarrassment •
[x] I’ve slipped out a “lol” in a spoken conversation.
[x]Disney movies still make me cry.
[x] I’ve snorted while laughing.
[x] I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.
[] I’ve glued my hand to something.
[x] I’ve laughed ’til some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
[x] I’ve had my pants rip in public.
• Health •
[] I’ve gotten stitches.
[x] Broken a bone.
[] I’ve had my tonsils removed.
[x] I’ve sat in a doctor’s office with a friend.
[] I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
[] I’ve had serious surgery.
[x] I’ve had chicken pox.
• Traveling •
[x] I’ve driven / riden over 200 miles in one day.
[x] I’ve been on a plane.
[x] I’ve been to Canada.
[] I’ve been to Cuba.
[] I’ve been to Niagara Falls.
[] I’ve been to Ottawa.
[] I’ve gone to Sudbury.
[] I’ve been to the Caribbean.
[x] I’ve been to Europe.
[x] I’ve been to Florida.
• Experiences •
[x] I’ve gotten lost in my city.
[x] I’ve seen a shooting star.
[] I’ve wished on a shooting star.
[x] I’ve seen a meteor shower.
[x] I’ve gone out in public in my pyjamas.
[] I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[] I’ve been to a casino.
[] I’ve been skydiving.
[] I’ve gone skinny-dipping.
[] I’ve drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[] I’ve crashed a car.
[x] I’ve been skiing.
[x] I’ve been in a musical.
[x] I’ve caught a snowflake or snow on my tongue.
[x] I’ve seen the Northern Lights.
[x]I’ve sat on a rooftop at night
[x] I’ve played a prank on someone.
[] I’ve ridden in a taxi.
[] I’ve seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[] I’ve eaten Sushi.
[x]I’ve been snowboarding.
•Relationships •
[x] I’m very single.
[x] I'm single.
[] I’m in a relationship.
[] I’m engaged.
[] I’m married.
[x] I miss someone right now.
[] I’ve gotten divorced.
[] I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
[] I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
• Honesty / Crime •
[x] I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t.
[x] I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
[] I’ve snuck out.
[x] I’ve cheated while playing a game.
[x] I’ve ran a red light.
[] I’ve witnessed a crime.
[?] I’ve been in a fist fight.
[] I’ve been arrested.
• Death and Suicide •
[/] I’m afraid of dying.
[x] I hate funerals.
[x] I’ve seen someone / something dying.
[x] Someone close to me has attempted / committed suicide.
• Materialism
[] I own over 5 rap CD’s.
[/] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime / manga.
[]I own designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[] I own something from Pac Sun.
[] I collected comic books.
[] I own something from The Gap.
[] I own something I got on E-Bay.
[] I own something from Abercrombie
• Random •
[x]I can sing well .
[] Stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[-] I open up to others easily
[/] I watch the news.
[] I don’t kill bugs
[/] I sing in the shower.
[] I am a morning person.
[] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
[-] I am a sports fanatic.
[x] I twirl my hair.
[x] I care about grammar.
[] I have “?”’s in my screen name.
[] I love spam.
[] I’ve copied more than 30 CD’s in a day.
[x] I bake well.
[] My favourite colour is either white, yellow, pink, red, blue, black, purple, or orange.
[-] I would wear pajamas to school.
[] I like Martha Stewart.
[] I know how to shoot a gun.
[1] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[/] I laugh at my own jokes
[/] I eat fast food weekly.
[?] I’ve not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
[/] I can’t sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[X] I am really ticklish.
[-] I like white chocolate.
[/] I bite my nails.
[x] I’m good at remembering faces.
[/] I’m good at remembering names.
[-] I’m good at remembering dates.
[] honestly have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
[x] All my answers were totally honest
[] I am shorter than 5′5″.
[x] I have many scars.
[x] I tan/ burn easily.
[/] I wish my hair was a different colour.
[] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[] I have a tattoo.
[] I’ve had/have braces.
[x] I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger.
[] I have more than two piercings.
[] I have / had piercings in places besides my ears.
• Embarrassment •
[x] I’ve slipped out a “lol” in a spoken conversation.
[x]Disney movies still make me cry.
[x] I’ve snorted while laughing.
[x] I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.
[] I’ve glued my hand to something.
[x] I’ve laughed ’til some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
[x] I’ve had my pants rip in public.
• Health •
[] I’ve gotten stitches.
[x] Broken a bone.
[] I’ve had my tonsils removed.
[x] I’ve sat in a doctor’s office with a friend.
[] I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
[] I’ve had serious surgery.
[x] I’ve had chicken pox.
• Traveling •
[x] I’ve driven / riden over 200 miles in one day.
[x] I’ve been on a plane.
[x] I’ve been to Canada.
[] I’ve been to Cuba.
[] I’ve been to Niagara Falls.
[] I’ve been to Ottawa.
[] I’ve gone to Sudbury.
[] I’ve been to the Caribbean.
[x] I’ve been to Europe.
[x] I’ve been to Florida.
• Experiences •
[x] I’ve gotten lost in my city.
[x] I’ve seen a shooting star.
[] I’ve wished on a shooting star.
[x] I’ve seen a meteor shower.
[x] I’ve gone out in public in my pyjamas.
[] I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[] I’ve been to a casino.
[] I’ve been skydiving.
[] I’ve gone skinny-dipping.
[] I’ve drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[] I’ve crashed a car.
[x] I’ve been skiing.
[x] I’ve been in a musical.
[x] I’ve caught a snowflake or snow on my tongue.
[x] I’ve seen the Northern Lights.
[x]I’ve sat on a rooftop at night
[x] I’ve played a prank on someone.
[] I’ve ridden in a taxi.
[] I’ve seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[] I’ve eaten Sushi.
[x]I’ve been snowboarding.
•Relationships •
[x] I’m very single.
[x] I'm single.
[] I’m in a relationship.
[] I’m engaged.
[] I’m married.
[x] I miss someone right now.
[] I’ve gotten divorced.
[] I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
[] I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
• Honesty / Crime •
[x] I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t.
[x] I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
[] I’ve snuck out.
[x] I’ve cheated while playing a game.
[x] I’ve ran a red light.
[] I’ve witnessed a crime.
[?] I’ve been in a fist fight.
[] I’ve been arrested.
• Death and Suicide •
[/] I’m afraid of dying.
[x] I hate funerals.
[x] I’ve seen someone / something dying.
[x] Someone close to me has attempted / committed suicide.
• Materialism
[] I own over 5 rap CD’s.
[/] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime / manga.
[]I own designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[] I own something from Pac Sun.
[] I collected comic books.
[] I own something from The Gap.
[] I own something I got on E-Bay.
[] I own something from Abercrombie
• Random •
[x]I can sing well .
[] Stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[-] I open up to others easily
[/] I watch the news.
[] I don’t kill bugs
[/] I sing in the shower.
[] I am a morning person.
[] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
[-] I am a sports fanatic.
[x] I twirl my hair.
[x] I care about grammar.
[] I have “?”’s in my screen name.
[] I love spam.
[] I’ve copied more than 30 CD’s in a day.
[x] I bake well.
[] My favourite colour is either white, yellow, pink, red, blue, black, purple, or orange.
[-] I would wear pajamas to school.
[] I like Martha Stewart.
[] I know how to shoot a gun.
[1] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[/] I laugh at my own jokes
[/] I eat fast food weekly.
[?] I’ve not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
[/] I can’t sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[X] I am really ticklish.
[-] I like white chocolate.
[/] I bite my nails.
[x] I’m good at remembering faces.
[/] I’m good at remembering names.
[-] I’m good at remembering dates.
[] honestly have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
[x] All my answers were totally honest
6.28.2011
creative block + musings
I guess I'm not sure of what else to call this. I feel as though I either have the most serious case of creative block ever, or just no real motivation.
To those of you I write stories with, I'm sorry. This means that I really can't think of any way to reply to any of you at the moment.
It's a little frustrating, because I really want to be drawing, writing, and designing and creating things. I have ideas, but none of them flow forward past this massive block or lack of motivation. I'm still not sure which.
I should probably just set pencil to paper and let everything kind of flow out into a blob, and then move forward.
In other news, it's been an interesting week (and it's only Tuesday, ack!). I started work yesterday, which was interesting and fun. Individuals with Alzheimer's and other dementias will never fail to cause a unique workplace. I really do enjoy my job already, and I'm scheduled for afternoon today (2-11pm). I should go get ready for work.... I find it sad and frustrating that I'm already looking forward to my day off, and I've only worked one day. Silly, neh?
God has been acting in my life again (He always is at work in my life, but I guess I'm seeing it more clearly right now), which is good, but uncomfortable at the moment. It's made home life a little interesting, and I'm feeling vaguely depressed, which is making me feel even more down on myself (unhealthy spiral, I don't suggest it). Instead of reacting in those ways, I need to embrace God's new mercies every morning and rely on His grace every moment.
If you are struggling with something, and need to rely on God's grace, I would suggest reading Romans 5, and Ephesians 2. They are what I'm working through right now, and I would love if you would join me. If you want, I'll even write my thoughts about it on here. Those would be some true "thoughts to selah".... (teehee~) ^_^#
6.13.2011
Smoothie Recipe #2
Creamy Ras-fu! (yes, I'm enjoying making up these names)
1 serving of silken tofu (~1/5 of the package of my tofu [nasoya brand])
A little more than a half serving of fresh raspberries (probably around 4 ounces)
A small splash of milk (to moisten)
This was a really easy smoothie to make. I layered the raspberries under and on top of the tofu. I tried blending without milk the first time, and there was no movement of the ingredients. Have you ever noticed that your mother is always right? Well, mine is. She warned me when I first started this smoothie kick that you need a liquid in the mix. Anyway, with the splash of milk the smoothie whipped together in about 30 seconds.
This smoothie is fresh, organic, and creamy. It is brightly colored, and attractive, while remaining completely natural. It has a very subtle flavor, which really surprised me. You can taste both the raspberry, and the tofu, which is what I was going for. It's rather tart, too, which I enjoy. If I were to remake this smoothie, I might add some sugar or something to sweeten it up a touch.
6.07.2011
Smoothie Recipe!
Hello again, everyone!
With the advent of summer, and the recent discovery of the joy of owning a blender, I have been getting into the making of smoothies. My smoothies are pretty simple; in fact, until today, I had only made a smoothie with ice, strawberries, and an Arizona strawberry smoothie "syrup". However! In an attempt to have a more healthy and balanced diet, I have just created a smoothie that is all natural, healthy, and quite delicious! I shall now share the "recipe" with you. Please forgive my rustic measurement style. ;)
Granny Strawpot Smoothie (yes, I did totally just make that name up on the fly)
1 apricot (remove the pit)
2 strawberries (mine were moderate sized)
1/4 granny smith apple (minus the seeds/core)
5-6 ounces of "Just Lemon" Raspberry lemonade (really yummy!)
1 1/2 handfuls of carrot!
I layered the carrots at the bottom, then the apples, then the apricot and strawberries. I then poured the lemonade over that, put the lid on the blender, and pureed it for a few seconds. That power wasn't quite high enough for my tastes, so I bumped it up to liquify! *insert evil laugh here* This made an about 12 ounce smoothie that is very tasty.
One of the things that I loved about this smoothie is the fact that it was made from almost the whole fruit and veggies, so it had quite a bit of natural goodness and fiber in it. Not as good as straight up eating them, but much better than juice. Also, it tasted like fruit! Not carrots! The carrots added texture and color, but not their trademark "carroty" taste. This had quite a bit of delicious and natural nutrients, fiber, and about a half serving of veggies and a full serving of fruit (according to the government guidelines).
I plan to continue making smoothies as the summer progresses, and I'll probably post them here. Next on my list to try is a apple+peanut butter smoothie. Here's hoping it's good!
5.07.2011
Confession #7
This song has been stuck in my head since we got home from seeing the Scarlet Pimpernel tonight... feel free to ask why, but I don't think I'll have a satisfactory answer for you....
4.30.2011
Summer 2011 plans
Well, everyone, I just finished up my semester. I've done pretty spectacularly, and I think I'll be getting straight A's. ^_^ That's exciting to me, especially since I'm a perfectionist (I'll probably do a confession about that sometime in the future). It's been a busy semester, especially in the last three weeks of classes. My finals actually stretched across two weeks, with normal assignments still due in other classes, so that was a bit stressful.
Since my semester ended on Wednesday, people have been asking me what my plans were for the summer. Really, I don't have interesting plans for the summer. The highlight of my summer will be my dear friend Angie's wedding (in which I am a bridesmaid). Other than that, I plan to get a job and work my tail off, hopefully hang out with friends, and teach my sister and some of her friends anatomy and physiology.
At this point, much of this is being temporarily postponed while we clean out our basement. It flooded Thursday morning, and we were up to our ankles in grey water (if you don't know what that is, bless your innocence). Since then, we have been cleaning up what we can. It's going a bit slowly, since it has been mostly up to Rebekah (my sister) and I. We have as good of a time as we can while cleaning up grey water and the aftermath of the flood. We listen to music together, sing loud/lipsync into handweights, and get rid of a lot of the junk that has cluttered up our lives and house for years. So, while that's time-consuming, it is a good thing.
I am hoping to have time this summer to improve my artwork. I think that I should have time, among the huge list of things I have going on.... ;) I am also hoping/needing to get into shape. I would also very much like to deepen my bento making knowledge and skills.
It's proving to be a fairly interesting summer for most of my friends. One is going to Italy, one is going to China, one is taking classes and getting ready to go to school in Indiana, and of course one is getting married. Others are just working this summer, like me.
4.27.2011
Confession #6
I hate online team projects. This whole mess has been absolutely freaking ridiculous. However, somehow, it managed to pull together.
To God be the glory.
Hallelujah.
4.26.2011
Confession #5
I am uneasy at the church I have been part of for almost 15 years. I've been somewhat uncomfortable there for about a year now, but I believe that God has now told me to leave. So my next step is finding out how to search for a new church home, and then to find that church home. I would really appreciate prayer.
4.21.2011
Confession #4
Easter just doesn't feel right to me anymore unless I go to a Passover Seder. It's something that I do, without my family, to personally get myself prepared for Easter.
4.19.2011
Confession #3
I'm scared of thunderstorms. Not really the storm part, or even the lightning part. Thunder just freaks me out a bit.
4.13.2011
Confession #2
I am a definite procrastinator. Usually, my life is sucked into this glowing screen that is like a vortex of wasted time. So... the next two weeks of my life I need to somehow overcome this personality trait. Here's praying for a miracle. ^_^#
3.19.2011
Confession #1
The days that I do interesting things with my makeup are the days that I feel the most or the absolute least confident.
3.07.2011
On this day...
This is a story written by a good friend. He aspires to be a writer, and from reading this I think he will succeed. I also appreciate the timing. God put this into my life at the right time, and I cannot thank Him or Phil enough. It has really encouraged me on a personal and spiritual level, right when I needed it most. Without further ado:
On this day, what have I become? I went looking for Sin, it was easy enough to find just a short trip over the side of my make shift raft and there I was, swimming in it. That disturbs me, but what disturbs me more is my inability to flee. It is easy enough to talk about resisting Temptation when none is present but when we stare her in the face, looking at her welcoming embrace that will soon destroy us, we start to slip. So, I sit here wallowing in Sin, right next to me is my good friend Regret. Regret leaves his mark on my life, he sits there and wishes we were on dry land instead of stranded in this ocean. Regret does have his uses, especially when Temptation re-appears. Regret is usually accompanied by Fear. Fear is very panicky, she sits there and mumbles about how she has to make sure that no one finds out what I've done. Once in a while Justification will tell her that those people have probably done worse. I hate Justification almost as much as I hate myself, he is always whispering to me that I'm not as bad as other people. These three are always surrounding me no matter what I do, but in the background there is an old man that never sleeps he constantly reminds me of my wrongs. The old man never speaks a word he is just simply there, I remember faintly that Fear told me once that the man was her father, his name was Guilt. These are the friends that never leave me, the dark cloud if Depression hangs over us, we never smile. There are two more which I have failed to mention the first has already been mentioned, she is Temptation. Temptation is quite a creature, stunningly beautiful, amazingly eloquent, she speaks soothingly coaxing me in to the grip of Sin who is the ocean itself. Sin rarely makes huge waves to push our raft farther into the ocean, (he did so today) but prefers to let us drift and this allows those on the raft to have their full effect. I mentioned that Regret was somewhat useful when Temptation arrived, what I mention by this is that he sits next to me and reminds me of what happened the last time I accepted her offer. This is not to say that Regret's strategy works, it merely gives me pause. I somehow think that even if all the people on this little raft of mine stood up together to stop Temptation she would prove more than a match for them. So, what am I to do? There is no escaping the nefarious duo of Temptation and Sin. Nowhere to go but down, no alternative, so I prepare to begin it all again, to once again be pulled farther into this ocean of darkness. My last thought before I let Temptation carry the raft away is that there is no point to my life, it's just a cycle never to be broken. But then, just as I feel the waves of Sin washing over the boat and onto my feet I hear a voice call to me from across the eastern sky. I stop. I hear this voice from time to time, it tells me that there is a point to my life and that all is not lost. Temptation shows her true colors as she attempts to push me into the dark waters. The voice now claims it can save me from this fate. After more years than I can count I finally find the courage to respond to the voice, I ask how it could save me from so far away(as far as I knew I was the only one on this ocean) instead of answering my question the voice asks me if I want out. I look at those around me sitting in the raft Regret, Fear, Justification, and Guilt. Temptation once again attempts to throw me overboard but I seem to be rooted in place. I then looked at all the waters of Sin that surrounded me. (I did not want to look at Temptation again lest the deed would allow her to gain power over me) I shout to the voice that I will take anyway out possible. The voice tells me to climb aboard. I stand perplexed for a minute only to realize that a boat that had apparently been pulled along side my raft. There is a figure sitting in the boat, she tells me that her name is Grace and that the person I was speaking to was Faith. I ask where she comes from and she says that both she and Faith are gifts to lead me on my way. Suddenly Guilt is clawing at me and for the first time he speaks. He says that they can not accept me for who I am and that I've done too much. Fear is shaking telling me not to go. Regret tells me he'll see me soon. Justification tells me that I'm better than them anyway. Sin churns beneath my boat. Temptation grabs my arm and tells me to come with her. I look back at Grace as she holds out her hand and asks me to take it. With a voice sweeter than Temptation's she tells me that there is someone waiting for me just beyond the horizon. I take her hand and step into the boat. As I sit down all those who used to be my friends disappear, even Sin is silent. Grace tells me to close my eyes and that I will be with Him soon. As I close my eyes I feel a rush of air on my face and I can't resist opening them again. When I do I am standing on nothing, I am soaring through the air, nothing but endless sky as far as I can see. I land on a cloud. Grace is there along with a man I assume is Faith but there is another man. He is sitting on a throne, His face is like the sun, blindingly radiant. He tells me that He has waited many years for this moment and that I belong to Him and that none can take me away. But He also tells me that I can not be with Him until the time has come. This saddens me greatly but then He tells me that He will be sending Faith, Love, and Peace with me. He then tells me that He loves me and that He will see me soon. I close my eyes again only forced to open them again when I hear waves smashing against my boat. I am back on the sea but things are different now. Faith always reminds me that just beyond the horizon He is waiting for me. Love helps me find others who are drifting in order that I may tell them He is waiting for them as well. Peace helps me weather the storms of the sea and helps me forget those many years of drifting. I still see Temptation from time to time, she is not as beautiful as she once was but I suspect that is my perception of her. Sin is a recurring character in my life as he is still the ocean however, Grace is always quick to combat this monster. I who sat in never-ending darkness have been found by the light. I am at last satisfied. I am no longer drifting. I am sailing. The journey is long but I am blessed. I finally have an answer, On this day, what have I become? Free.
On this day...
by Philip Butler
On this day, what have I become? I went looking for Sin, it was easy enough to find just a short trip over the side of my make shift raft and there I was, swimming in it. That disturbs me, but what disturbs me more is my inability to flee. It is easy enough to talk about resisting Temptation when none is present but when we stare her in the face, looking at her welcoming embrace that will soon destroy us, we start to slip. So, I sit here wallowing in Sin, right next to me is my good friend Regret. Regret leaves his mark on my life, he sits there and wishes we were on dry land instead of stranded in this ocean. Regret does have his uses, especially when Temptation re-appears. Regret is usually accompanied by Fear. Fear is very panicky, she sits there and mumbles about how she has to make sure that no one finds out what I've done. Once in a while Justification will tell her that those people have probably done worse. I hate Justification almost as much as I hate myself, he is always whispering to me that I'm not as bad as other people. These three are always surrounding me no matter what I do, but in the background there is an old man that never sleeps he constantly reminds me of my wrongs. The old man never speaks a word he is just simply there, I remember faintly that Fear told me once that the man was her father, his name was Guilt. These are the friends that never leave me, the dark cloud if Depression hangs over us, we never smile. There are two more which I have failed to mention the first has already been mentioned, she is Temptation. Temptation is quite a creature, stunningly beautiful, amazingly eloquent, she speaks soothingly coaxing me in to the grip of Sin who is the ocean itself. Sin rarely makes huge waves to push our raft farther into the ocean, (he did so today) but prefers to let us drift and this allows those on the raft to have their full effect. I mentioned that Regret was somewhat useful when Temptation arrived, what I mention by this is that he sits next to me and reminds me of what happened the last time I accepted her offer. This is not to say that Regret's strategy works, it merely gives me pause. I somehow think that even if all the people on this little raft of mine stood up together to stop Temptation she would prove more than a match for them. So, what am I to do? There is no escaping the nefarious duo of Temptation and Sin. Nowhere to go but down, no alternative, so I prepare to begin it all again, to once again be pulled farther into this ocean of darkness. My last thought before I let Temptation carry the raft away is that there is no point to my life, it's just a cycle never to be broken. But then, just as I feel the waves of Sin washing over the boat and onto my feet I hear a voice call to me from across the eastern sky. I stop. I hear this voice from time to time, it tells me that there is a point to my life and that all is not lost. Temptation shows her true colors as she attempts to push me into the dark waters. The voice now claims it can save me from this fate. After more years than I can count I finally find the courage to respond to the voice, I ask how it could save me from so far away(as far as I knew I was the only one on this ocean) instead of answering my question the voice asks me if I want out. I look at those around me sitting in the raft Regret, Fear, Justification, and Guilt. Temptation once again attempts to throw me overboard but I seem to be rooted in place. I then looked at all the waters of Sin that surrounded me. (I did not want to look at Temptation again lest the deed would allow her to gain power over me) I shout to the voice that I will take anyway out possible. The voice tells me to climb aboard. I stand perplexed for a minute only to realize that a boat that had apparently been pulled along side my raft. There is a figure sitting in the boat, she tells me that her name is Grace and that the person I was speaking to was Faith. I ask where she comes from and she says that both she and Faith are gifts to lead me on my way. Suddenly Guilt is clawing at me and for the first time he speaks. He says that they can not accept me for who I am and that I've done too much. Fear is shaking telling me not to go. Regret tells me he'll see me soon. Justification tells me that I'm better than them anyway. Sin churns beneath my boat. Temptation grabs my arm and tells me to come with her. I look back at Grace as she holds out her hand and asks me to take it. With a voice sweeter than Temptation's she tells me that there is someone waiting for me just beyond the horizon. I take her hand and step into the boat. As I sit down all those who used to be my friends disappear, even Sin is silent. Grace tells me to close my eyes and that I will be with Him soon. As I close my eyes I feel a rush of air on my face and I can't resist opening them again. When I do I am standing on nothing, I am soaring through the air, nothing but endless sky as far as I can see. I land on a cloud. Grace is there along with a man I assume is Faith but there is another man. He is sitting on a throne, His face is like the sun, blindingly radiant. He tells me that He has waited many years for this moment and that I belong to Him and that none can take me away. But He also tells me that I can not be with Him until the time has come. This saddens me greatly but then He tells me that He will be sending Faith, Love, and Peace with me. He then tells me that He loves me and that He will see me soon. I close my eyes again only forced to open them again when I hear waves smashing against my boat. I am back on the sea but things are different now. Faith always reminds me that just beyond the horizon He is waiting for me. Love helps me find others who are drifting in order that I may tell them He is waiting for them as well. Peace helps me weather the storms of the sea and helps me forget those many years of drifting. I still see Temptation from time to time, she is not as beautiful as she once was but I suspect that is my perception of her. Sin is a recurring character in my life as he is still the ocean however, Grace is always quick to combat this monster. I who sat in never-ending darkness have been found by the light. I am at last satisfied. I am no longer drifting. I am sailing. The journey is long but I am blessed. I finally have an answer, On this day, what have I become? Free.
3.02.2011
2.05.2011
^_^#
Yeah... I made this..... heehee! ~^_^~
http://cheezburger.com/view/4432337664
All hail the silliness!!!!
*chu*
http://cheezburger.com/view/4432337664
All hail the silliness!!!!
*chu*
1.20.2011
1.17.2011
Profound
PLEASE READ TO BOTTOM
This song just came on while I was working on some homework and it just really hit me. Here's hoping for some profoundness around here. >_<#
I was told when I was young
That anyone could change the world
It wouldn't come from power or strength
But through the ones who choose to love
'Cause everyone will pass
And when we've breathed our last can we say
That we have lived for more
And did we live to die for
Lalala love
Lala love
Lalala love
Lala love
Can you feel His heart beating?
The sound of love that's marching on
And when our hearts begin to break
Along with His this world will change
'Cause everyone will pass
And when we've breathed our last can we say
We have lived for more
And did we live to die for
Lalala love
Lala love
Lalala love
Lala love
Love is marching
To His heartbeat
Love is marching
To His heartbeat
Love is Marching
To His Heartbeat!
Love is Marching
To His Heartbeat
'Cause everyone will pass
And when we've breathed our last can we say
We have lived for more
And did we live to die for
Lalala love
Lala love
Lalala love
Lala love
Love is Marching, BarlowGirl (Love & War)
Link to video with song and lyrics: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10PWMTp9zho
I think something important to keep in mind is that love is not what we typically think of when we hear the word these days.
Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.
Romans 13:10
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
1 Corinthians 13:4
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
1 Corinthians 13:6
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
1 Corinthians 13:8
This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.
1 John 3:16
I'm sorry this post is so long, but please bear with me. Something that I am finding more and more over the last few months as I try to work on myself is that love is a choice. It's not that warm and fuzzy emotion that overwhelms you from time to time, though that can come with love. That emotion is closer to attraction than love. Love is a service for others. I mean, really, Jesus died, and that is love. He died. What we call love is nothing like the true thing. I've trying hard to rework this in my mind, and I hope that you will try to take it to heart as well.
*chu*
This song just came on while I was working on some homework and it just really hit me. Here's hoping for some profoundness around here. >_<#
I was told when I was young
That anyone could change the world
It wouldn't come from power or strength
But through the ones who choose to love
'Cause everyone will pass
And when we've breathed our last can we say
That we have lived for more
And did we live to die for
Lalala love
Lala love
Lalala love
Lala love
Can you feel His heart beating?
The sound of love that's marching on
And when our hearts begin to break
Along with His this world will change
'Cause everyone will pass
And when we've breathed our last can we say
We have lived for more
And did we live to die for
Lalala love
Lala love
Lalala love
Lala love
Love is marching
To His heartbeat
Love is marching
To His heartbeat
Love is Marching
To His Heartbeat!
Love is Marching
To His Heartbeat
'Cause everyone will pass
And when we've breathed our last can we say
We have lived for more
And did we live to die for
Lalala love
Lala love
Lalala love
Lala love
Love is Marching, BarlowGirl (Love & War)
Link to video with song and lyrics: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10PWMTp9zho
I think something important to keep in mind is that love is not what we typically think of when we hear the word these days.
Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.
Romans 13:10
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
1 Corinthians 13:4
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
1 Corinthians 13:6
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
1 Corinthians 13:8
This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.
1 John 3:16
I'm sorry this post is so long, but please bear with me. Something that I am finding more and more over the last few months as I try to work on myself is that love is a choice. It's not that warm and fuzzy emotion that overwhelms you from time to time, though that can come with love. That emotion is closer to attraction than love. Love is a service for others. I mean, really, Jesus died, and that is love. He died. What we call love is nothing like the true thing. I've trying hard to rework this in my mind, and I hope that you will try to take it to heart as well.
*chu*
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